Becoming Illegal

> > Becoming Illegal
> >
> >
> > (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)
> >
> > The Honorable Tom Harkin
> > 731 Hart Senate Office Building
> > Phone (202) 224 3254
> > Washington DC 20510
> >
> > Dear Senator Harkin:
> >
> > As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal
Revenue
> > Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted
> > the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the
> > process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
> >
> > My primary reason for wishing to change my status from US
Citizen
> > to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by
the
> > Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's
> > provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the
> > United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen
is
> > to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five
> > years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
the
> > process started before everyone figures it out.
> >
> >
> > Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to
> > pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding
> > two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any
> > way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield
an
> > excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes
in
> > 2004 and 2005.
> >
> > Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
> > emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have
> > stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant
figures
> > I could save almost $10,000 a year.
> >
> > Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
> > daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law
> > school applications, as well as "instate" tuition rates for many
> > colleges throughout the United States for my son.
> >
> > Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of
the
> > burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome
> > car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I
> > still have college age children driving my car.
> >
> > If you would provide me with an outline of the process to
become
> > illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary
> > forms, I would be most appreciative.
> >
> >
> > Thank you for your assistance.
> >
> > Your Loyal Constituent,
> > Donald Ruppert
> >
> >
> > Burlington, IA
> >
> >
> > Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service
> > 1-800-289-1040.
> >
> > Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great
> > offer!!!!