> > DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
> >
> > 1. NAMES:
> > If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call
> > each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
> > If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to
> > each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
> >
> > 2. EATING OUT:
> > When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a
$20,
> > even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller
> > and none will actually admit they want change back.
> >
> > When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
> >
> >
> > 3. MONEY:
> > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on
sale.
> >
> >
> > 4. BATHROOMS:
> > A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor,
> > a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
> >
> > The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man
> > would not be able to identify most of these items.
> >
> >
> > 5. ARGUMENTS:
> > A woman has the last word in any argument.
> > Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
> >
> >
> > 6. CATS:
> > Women love cats.
> > Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
> >
> >
> > 7. FUTURE:
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >
> >
> >
> > 8. SUCCESS:
> > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
> > A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >
> >
> > 9. MARRIAGE:
> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
> >
> >
> >
> > 10. DRESSING UP:
> > A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage,
> > answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
> > A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
> >
> >
> > 11. NATURAL:
> > Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> > Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
> >
> >
> > 12. OFFSPRING:
> > Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
> > dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
> > fears and hopes and dreams.
> > A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
> >
> >
> >
> > 13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
> > Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
> > remembering the same thing.
